Sunday, August 27, 2006

fluoxetine hydrochloride

If you were God, wouldn't you just give yourself an all-powerful, almighty, everlasting, never-ending, heavenly divine orgasm? (Obviously not in the conventional human way. He/She/It probably has some kind of button for that kind of thing but you get the point). Anyway, that's what I'd do. Well, that or watch cartoons. Either way's fine.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

the status quo

Last night, as I flicked through the myriad of free channels on my tv, I came across the second part of a three-part documentary series on the ABC called Status Anxiety. The series explores Alain de Botton's theory of how the vast majority of people are actually motivated by a quality desired even more than money. A quality which, no matter who you are, where you come from or what your social class, you all hanker for the one thing: status. It all boils down to how much (you think) you are worth in the eyes of the world.

All this seems rather plausible considering what high status brings. For one, it brings respect. Not the kind of respect you give to other people's religious inklings, but the kind that makes others feel so much more inferior to you. As Gore Vidal famously put it, "Every time a friend of mine succeeds, a small part of me dies."

Other advantages of high status include freedom, dignity, resources, protection, scantily clad woman who fan you with palm leaves and feed you grapes. What more could you want?

And that's exactly the point. This is what de Botton calls Status Anxiety *cue lightning and thunder storm*. You live in a society where you are told if you work hard you can achieve almost anything, including that life of non-stop pampering and ovation, but for some reason you just can't get it. You hear countless stories of people (usually fat) discovering their power within and turning their lives around. So why can't you?

These are just some of the things the series explores. I missed the first episode but the final part shows next Tuesday. See you there.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

anti-evolution

When it comes to primary school or high school or any other school for that matter, the one thing everybody loves is going on class excursions to where ever. During my time in school, these pleasure trips were greated with much enthusiasm. They were a chance to get out and away from those hard-chaired, chewing-gummed tables of the classroom.

Today's excursion (yay) with my Earth and Environmental class to Sandon Point in Bulli was different for three reasons. Firstly because at the end of it we would be tested on what we had learnt, forcing me to actually pay attention to the guide and not to perfecting my rock-skimming skills.
Secondly, it lasted four horibble, oh so horrible hours. Four hours in the sun. With no breaks. Just looking at rocks. And surrounded by fat women bending over to pick up pebbles.
And finally (any ordinary man by now would have knocked himself unconscious), if all that wasn't enough, it's a Saturday!

How things change...

Friday, August 18, 2006

my ten cents

I signed up with eBay yesterday. I had high hopes for one of those fancy 3-in-1 printer, scanner, copier machines. It took me about 5 minutes to set up my account and after that I was on my way to a shiny new at-the-touch-of-a-button printer/scanner/copier.

At the buy menu, I selected the 'multifunction printer' category along with the sort by 'lowest price first' option and placed the only bid of 10 cents (yes, you heard right) for a dreamy New Lexmark X1270 All in One Printer/Copier/Scanner Lk6. With only one day of bidding left I was confident I would be collecting my prize in no time and so got ready a pile of possible itmes I would print, scan, copy etc.

However, today as I logged on to my eBay account to check up on my winning status, I was shocked to see a big red cross followed by the words "You have been outbid by another bidder (if you'd like, bid again)". And what's worse, I wasn't outbid by 11 cents or even 20 cents but by 31 whole Australian dollars! That's 300 times the amount I bid for it.

I can't compete with that uptown, upscale, aggressive type competition.

[Update: It sold for $46.00 after 15 different bids.]